Four Things Maybe Five

I understand the desire to feel needed. I’ve struggled with feeling unnecessary for awhile now.  I think most people need to feel like they have a sense of purpose in their lives. Unfortunately when you’re sick that sense of purpose becomes fuzzy at best.

I’ve determined I’m able contribute four maybe five things to my household and the people who live in it and those are…

  1. Making the Bed
  2. Doing the Dishes
  3. Cooking Dinner
  4. Getting the Mail
  5. Grocery Shopping (on occasion, depending how I feel)

Beyond those things I’m virtually useless. I can’t vacuum the house, sweep the floors, mow the grass, take the trash to the curb, clean the garage, snow blow the driveway, scrub the toilets, dust the ceiling fan…I could go on and on about the things I’m simply not physically able to do right now. I often wonder if the people around me truly understand how useless I feel and how that feeling gets stronger when they unknowingly take the things I can do away from me in their desire to feel needed themselves.

Don’t get me wrong, I need a lot of help with a lot of different things. There is no end to the things I can’t do on my own anymore, so if you live in my house and don’t feel needed then maybe you’re not paying attention?

The bottom line is I try to do as much as I can when I feel up to it. I still need help, I’ll always need help. How anyone could think that I don’t need help, given the current state of my health, confuses me.

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